One of the worst fears of married men who are having an affair is someone threatening to expose what they’re doing, and with good reason. This sort of exposure can turn your life upside down. Luckily, there are things you can do to make sure that you never become a victim to this sort of thing. Arm yourself with these tips and techniques, and you’ll never have to live your life worrying about this issue again.

Prevention Is the Best Medicine

Prevention is always less stressful and more effective than trying to manage a problem after it has arisen. If you’re not in an affair yet, this is your reminder about the importance of two things: Discretion and choosing your affair wisely. The discretion piece of the puzzle is easy to control on your part. Quite simply, do not discuss your affair with anyone other than the woman you’re having the affair with. The fewer people who know about your affair, the fewer people there are who could expose it. When you don’t have to worry about friends, family members, or co-workers spilling the beans, you’ve eliminated many sources of potential problems right off the bat. It’s also important to remember that a single woman is much more likely to threaten you with exposing an affair than a married one, so it is in your best interest to find married women for all of your extramarital activities.

Keep Your Cool

When someone threatens to expose your affair, it’s easy to panic and lose your cool, but this will only make matters worse. You can’t think clearly and will probably make decisions that backfire if you’re operating from that state of mind. Remind yourself that they’re probably bluffing, and take a few slow, deep breaths to steady your nerves before you respond. Whatever you do, don’t let them realize that you’re afraid. Don’t beg them not to do it. If they haven’t already clearly stated why they would do such a thing, ask them outright. Knowing their reasoning will help you formulate your plan of action, and provide you with the information you need to provide a logical response.

Convince Them of the Reasons Exposing You Is a Bad Idea

This step varies, depending on the role of the person threatening you. If it is someone claiming to be looking out for your wife, remind them that right now your wife isn’t in any pain over the affair. Therefore, by telling her about it, they would be causing her unnecessary grief. This is usually most effective if you can convince the person that you have already ended the affair, and that it was a terrible mistake you deeply regret and will never repeat. You can also remind them that if they’ve known about the affair for some time, your wife is likely to hold them as responsible as she does you, and it may well destroy their relationship. If the person threatening to expose you is the woman you’re sleeping with, remind her of all of the ways exposing the affair will damage her reputation and relationships.
 

Play Hardball As a Last Resort

This step is only suggested if you’ve gone through the process outlined above and the person is still insistent that they’re going to tell. If someone knows you well enough that they’re in the know about your affair, chances are high that you probably have information about them that they’d rather not have go public, either. Let them know in no uncertain terms that if they set out to destroy your life, you will do the same. Even if you don’t know anything damning about them, pretend like you do. Everyone has some skeletons in their closet. Hint at the fact that you know a thing or two they wouldn’t want people to know about their life, and they’ll go nuts trying to figure out what you know and who told you. This step isn’t without risk, but at this point you’re already in such hot water that you don’t have a lot to lose.

Most People Won’t Go Through With It

You’re in a scary and vulnerable position. I get that. If someone really does go through with exposing your affair, it can destroy your world. But here’s the thing you need to know; most people won’t actually go through with it. Either they’re operating from a place of emotional distress from which they can be soothed and talked out of, or they never actually intended to tell, but are hoping to scare you into doing something else they want you to do. This is especially true when it’s the woman you’re having the affair with. Most women use this technique to manipulate men into leaving their lives to be with them, or some other similar demand. By handling the conversation calmly and directly, chances are high that your secret will stay just that.

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